Happy birthday, my darling Junnosuke. Sometimes I wish the term 'Jun-baited' applied to my personal fandom situation, but I used to think you were A Total Girly Man, mainly because I first saw you on the reverse side of a Yamapi poster. And you were wearing sparkly eyeshadow and your hair looked like it was jealous of Shirley Temple's, and the background was lilac and you were wearing fluffy cashmere. So yeah, I didn't give you a second thought. I went back to the Pi side.

But that's all in the past (even though every time I see that poster I still laugh), and now I love you, alot, even though your hair is in a constant state of metamorphasis. I think I love you the most when you are Miss Bitch, because your eyebrows go funny and you get this look on your face that screams, "Girl, oh NO you diiiiiiiiin't!" and that makes me laugh, or I think maybe I love you the most when you're with Aiba, because it's very cute when you think he's stupid. Or your 'MAJI DE?' moments, or your giggles, or your 'I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this' faces, or your 'Girl, I am SO HOT, I am a SEX GOD' faces, because those are hilarious. I love them all.

And, okay, sometimes you look hot. But most of the time I just wanna pinch your cheeks really hard until you throw me across the room and give you an A- for effort.

So instead of going on about how you are a special boy in my heart, I channeled it through Aiba by writing ~fic~. I know it's supposed to be porn because I initially promised (who? answer: myself) that I would write birthday porn for each of Arashi on their special days, but the PWP I was writing and planning to use today-- the Sho/Jun used-to-be-my-math-notes one--has spiraled out of my control. Instead, I wrote something else that is not sexy, but sappy. OH WELL. So you get your cake here, but you have to eat it somewhere else.

There's no title, and it's sort of Aiba/Jun, Jun/Arashi, Aiba/Arashi and Arashi/Arashi all in one, however vague each one may turn out to be in the fic. Whatever it really is, it's definitely sappy enough to melt all 32 (or if you got four pulled like I did, then 28) of your teeth. :D  :D More summary: late-night voicemails, Aiba is probably crying, mention of Jun's 20th birthday, and Ohno says inappropriate things to the cheese.

( eat the cheese, don't throw it at me--hey! )

Tomorrow I'll be in Charlotte until Sunday night, so when I get back maybe I'll have recuperated enough to talk about school and life and the horrible college application process--and my new friend who is a sweetie, and also Jack McFarland. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not.

Firstly, I thought this wasn't happening until Wednesday, but no, it's the 17th, not the 18th, and as my computer clock tells me it is Tuesday in Japan already. (Yeah, my computer is still on Japan time.) So, because I am a complete dork and have no shame, here we go:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the now 25-year-old Kazunari "I Like Hamburger--Gyoza, What's That?" Ninomiya, EVEN THOUGH HE STILL LOOKS NOT A DAY OVER SIXTEEN. But I love love love love LOVE him anyway--let no one deny that I like my boys just a little on the skinny side. (Say it with me: tall and lanky, TALL AND LANKY. Or at least fairly tall and lanky.)

And just in case you're feeling a little like a pedophile, have some medicinal Ohmiya to counterbalance: one, two, three, four.

MORE LOVE: this is what I like waking up to, shake it!; not only did he write this song, he also committed a mass burglary of hearts at the end; OKOGE NO SUUU-PUUU, supu de okoge! and manly Nino kissin' boys and frocliking on a pretend beach.

I am not good at finding links. My stamina level is very low, even for my favorite JE boy. Oh, life.

BUT ACTUALLY, there is more than just self-gratuitous picspam--there is fic. To be more precise, there is porn. Oh my. I was really intending to finish the monstrous Ohmiya fic by--well, by the time Nino's birthday rolled around, but obviously so much for that. So, to fix this situation, I wrote porn instead. No, really, it was that easy!

This is unbeta'd, even though I read it through once or twice (whilst blushing all the while) for grammar and spelling errors, and also things that make me cringe, although there still may be alot of those.

title: clockwork (or, the untitled nino birthday fic PWP)
pairing: Ohmiya
summary: There's a clock on Ohno's wall, right across from his bed. (Also in this one, Ohno is a machine, Nino doesn't know the limits of his own body, and there are puppies and Aiba/Jun. Who's on crack, now?)
rating: R

( how long--?  )
And that concludes my spastic birthday post for Nino--if you never come back to my journal, I completely understand. :D REAL POST TOMORROW.

eta: OH MY GOD I HATE RICH TEXT SO MUCH

I seem to have written fic.

It's been a LOONG time, folks, but I suppose now that it's summer my writing gland wants to partay it up. Not only do I have two fics in the making (one in planning stages (a collab) and the other, an Ohmiya, a whopping 13 pages already), but I'm writing a short story that's not even close to being done at 20 pages. This is all Word, folks, 12 pt Times. And it's not like I started them in March and am picking them up again--I started the Ohmiya yesterday and the short story a few weeks ago. I never write thirteen pages in two days. I usually don't even write things that are thirteen pages, let alone twenty, single-spaced.

I have officially exploded.

Anyhow, I know you all came here for the fic, but since you're going to read that anyway I decided to ramble a bit. :)



title: Charmed (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE TV SHOW. I wanted to name it 'Third Time's the Charm,' but whyjennifer  already has a fic named that, and I know it doesn't really matter but IT DOES TO ME. D:)
pairing: Koyato, a touch of RyoPi
genre: Y'all are mature. PG.
summary: It might have begun with a game of spin the bottle mixed with truth or dare--Shige doesn't really remember.
notes: This is, first and foremost, REALLY LATE ~*~*BIRTHDAY FIC*~*~ fic for saturnial  , who had requested, on her birthday spam post, comment spam and/or comment fic. But I was super duper late so I decided to make up for it by writing her this monstrous thing (that includes, on her vague request, 'Koyato fluff, awkward and inefficient, with Pi and Ryo on the side') that may merge on badfic (not kidding). However it is love- and fun-filled, I assure you of that. <333

ENJOY THE RIDE.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH

title: What Didn't Happen/augustfai's Self-Introduction to RyoDa
pairing: AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH
rating: asdkj not pron
summary: "None of that happened, though," is what Ueda recalls telling the rest of KAT-TUN later. YA RIGHT UEBO! (11:17 PM and I'm sticking to my summary, folks.)
notes: Come on, now. In my mind Ueda has always been a little minx.


...OH, NO.

title: Five Names Ryo Calls Ueda (While They're Having Sex)
pairing: oh gawd
rating: pron, shit
summary: "You're on the bottom because I don't want to see any fucking fairies."
notes: *whimpers* Un-beta'd, and it's 11:53 and I'm tired so. Errors, yay!


RAAAAAAAAAAAH